The Monday after Thanksgiving, Z came bounding off the bus, barely waiting until her feet hit the pavement before telling me about this amazing ELF! That's on a SHELF! And it has magical powers and it's going to be in a new spot in her classroom EVERY DAY and it reports back to SANTA!
"GREAT!" I said, by which I meant: Is no place free of this damned elf on a shelf nonsense?!?! SCREW YOU TEACHER!
I first heard about the elf on a shelf a few years ago, when friends started posting photos on Facebook of the cute place they'd hidden the elf that day. I even, momentarily, considered getting one as I knew the girls would love the excitement of finding him in a new place every morning. But then I remembered the other posts on Facebook, the ones lamenting the need to move the effing elf yet again or moaning that they'd woken up early in a sweat because they forgot to move the elf and didn't want to make the kids cry AGAIN.
I wake up in a sweat about enough things, thankyouverymuch, especially this time of year. I would like to rid myself of some holiday imperatives rather than willingly BUY MORE.
So there is no elf on this here shelf. And I quickly decided that the elf on the first grade shelf is a great thing, because then we don't need one at home!! TEACHER, I TAKE IT ALL BACK.
Our 7 year old neighbor came over one day last week and asked to see our elf and looked astounded and sad for us that we didn't have one. This is the same child who watches grown up action movies regularly, will only read books if they are about vampires and/or zombies and makes fun of my 6 year old for watching Dinosaur Train and yet she still believes in Santa and has a freaking elf on a shelf?!
Well. I would like a medal for not telling her just how ironic that is.
This girl will not let up. Every day she asks if an elf showed up yet. EVERY. DAY. And then looks pityingly at Z, as if she might give her a pat on the head and a lollipop for her suffering.
Z seems fine about it though, thank goodness. She just says "No. No elf here yet," and moves on.
Let's see how long I can hold out.
Do you do the elf on the shelf?