3/10/10

Safety notice

The Clueless But Hopeful Co. regrets to announce the discovery of a sudden acceleration problem in its latest model, the 2009 E seen here:

Customers report numerous speed related incidents with the 2009 E, often causing damage to people and/or property (not to mention psyches). Reports indicate that normal crawling was in effect until one day, without warning, it seems the accelerator got stuck. This model not only accelerates suddenly but also instinctively, immediately, finds the most dangerous direction in which to do so.


Anecdotal reports also include the 2009 E suddenly being able to reach previously unreachable items such as the video monitor camera, the inside of the toilet bowl and the top of the dinner table. A gleeful cackling sound often emanates from the 2009 E during the acceleration episodes. Customers are advised to listen for, and heed, this sound, though total silence does not BY ANY MEANS indicate safety.


Unfortunately, there does not appear to be a fix for this problem at this time. Customers are advised to keep careful watch over the 2009 E for their safety and the safety of others.

13 comments:

Hillary said...

ha!
Also, I love the jammies with the pink hearts. They -- and 2009 E -- are adorable.

Swistle said...

Hee!

KG said...

Laughter... tears .... more laughter.... oh my. I sure hope you get a book deal someday b/c you are FUNY girl!

Marianne said...

:-)

Eleanor Q. said...

" A gleeful cackling sound often emanates from the 2009 E during the acceleration episodes" Ha! too funny!

Existential Waitress said...

VERy cute jammies! This had me laughing!

Grateful Twin Mom said...

Clever, clever, once again. Maybe the parent company should release a statement that says, "hold tight, customers, and this too will pass, and other challenge with this model will present itself soon."

cutie, cutie. Love that smile.

parkingathome said...

i just want to EAT HER

Gina said...

Ack! The toilet water is popular in our house as well. Which is really unfortunate because the three-year-old can be rather lax about flushing.

I go to Target often enough you would think I would remember to buy one of those toilet cover lock thingys but not yet...

Saskia said...

And I thought *I* had a monkey...

Katie said...

Oh gracious could she be any cuter? And you, as always, are hilarious.

LoriD said...

The 2009E looks like a very happy model. :-)

Michelle said...

This is hysterical. So cute.

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