I've been thinking about my last post a lot, often when catching myself labeling both my girls and my self. I think the most important thing I can do, for us all, is to speak in terms of circumstance and possibility. Of who and what we can be given the right situation. Because I've been struggling with labels for myself as well. I am not totally comfortable with the SAHM mantle. It feels like a limited, meaningless description.
Some days I order books from the library on managing this 24/7 mothering life like a high powered career. Other days, I look at a calendar and wonder when I will "go back to work". Of course, since we moved, there's not exactly a job to go back TO as I think the commute back to the Pilates studio in Pasadena would be a tad bit LONG. I'm sure I could find a job here doing something but it's not like I have a high-powered career just waiting for me to jump back in the game. And I'm not going to go back to work just to work at any old thing. So I try to take a breath and imagine all the possibilities and to recognize that I'm not ready yet, I'm just not there yet.
I try not to wince or stammer when announcing that "I'm at home for now" when meeting someone new. I know the SAHM label doesn't define me. I know it's not forever, or even, in the grand scheme of things, for very long.
So yesterday when Z described a classmate as "shy" and another as "a troublemaker", I challenged her labels. I told her he might be shy RIGHT NOW, in the moment, but maybe in other situations he can be out-going. I reminded her of all the times she felt shy or she made trouble but that didn't make her ALWAYS shy or a troublemaker FOREVER.
Right now, I am a SAHM. I have not ALWAYS been. I will not be FOREVER.
Z and E can be many, many things.
I can be many, many things, too.