It's all relative

Getting only one five hour stretch of sleep before baby: Impossible! Horrible! "I'm such a wreck!"

Getting a blissful five hour stretch of sleep with a 2 week old newborn in the house: Amazing! Awesome! "I feel great!"


Home alone with a newborn the first time around: OMG. I'm ALONE. I am not prepared for this. I cannot handle this. What if something happens? I NEED A BREAK.

Home alone with only a newborn because your awesome husband took your toddler to the farmer's market: OMG. I'm ALONE. I'm FREE. What junky reality TV is on? Shall I have cookies or chocolate for a snack? YIPEE! What a great BREAK! (Oh. Hi baby!)


Successful day with one three year old: Educational activities undertaken. Nutritious meals cooked and eaten. House clean. Laundry clean and put away. Ditto dishes. Tantrums (from child or parent) small or nonexistent.

Successful day with one three year old and one newborn: All life forms in house are still alive at the end of the day. (Plants don't count.)


Getting ready for an excursion before having two kids: Shower. Wash face. Brush and floss teeth. Put on sunscreen, eye cream, cover up, blush, eye liner, mascara, lip gloss, deodorant, body lotion, perfume, matching clothes.

Getting ready for an excursion with two kids: Use toddler's washcloth to rub soap on armpits. Start to brush teeth but get interrupted half way through by toddler: "I need to POOP Mommy!"
Grab clothes off floor that may or may not be clean/fit/match. Realize as you are pulling out of the driveway that half your teeth are furry, your brows rival Frida Kahlo's and your shirt is totally stained. Keep going anyway.


desperate housewife said...

INDEED. If it's comforting, though, by the time the second baby was a year, I was rarely forgetting to brush my teeth anymore. I mean, not NEVER, but not as often.

My Buddy Mimi said...

Hahahaha... I grew up in a neighborhood where people generally entered and exited through the garage. I remember all those moms driving their kids to elementary school in their nightgowns. And now I totally understand how that could happen.

artemisia said...

So glad you have this perspective! You make craziness sound fun.

Kathi McCracken Dente said...

OK, I couldn't get passed "one 5 hour stretch". OMG! Can I come sleep at your house? I get about 5 hours of sleep a night total spread out over 3 1.5 to 2 hour chunks. But I agree with you. Taking care of one infant is so much easier this time around.

bat7mess said...

All so very true. Sad, but true.

Eleanor Q. said...

Its so funny how you can get a group of moms together and someone says "five hour stretch" and suddenly everyone is all "oooh" and raising eyebrows and thinking how their kid didn't do that until he was *ahem* months old. Glad to hear you're feeling great!

Astarte said...

Hahaha!!! Dude, as long as I get deoderant on every day, I'm good. I've reached the point of stay-at-home parenting where I'm not incredibly picky about my clothes or hair, or cleanliness, but if I smell or feel sweaty, all bets are OFF.

sitting on the mood swing at the playground said...

"House clean, laundry clean and put away. Ditto dishes." I only have a toddler and not sure I've ever been able to say those things at the same time. Impressive.

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