Let's stay together

Today is my seven year wedding anniversary.

CG was an academic when we married, a PhD student who hoped to become a professor one day. I saw my life stretching out before me as a professor's wife with all the leather bound books and elbow-patched trappings. I imagined myself pedaling around an idyllic college campus, wondering which young coeds had a crush on my husband.

When we got married, I was a dancer/Pilates instructor/massage therapist/grant writer. I worked 7 days a week and was often gone from the house, with my huge bag full of snacks, meals and changes of clothes, from 7 am to 10 pm. I rarely sat still.

We are not who we used to be.

Getting married is a promise. I didn't quite grasp that it was a promise to stay together as we each grow and change in ways no one could predict.

In a few short weeks, CG is leaving academia, after much tortured soul searching, for his new job in Virginia. He will not be a professor.

I haven't danced, really danced, in over 4 years. I often spend whole days in my 9 x 13 living room.

Last year, CG discovered flying. He now has his private pilot's license and is working toward his instrument rating. I never imagined this as part of our story. My ambivalence about his flying is something we work through. It is worth working through because I love him, pledged to stand beside him as he searches for meaning and joy in his life. It is worth working through because I've never seen him so happy as when he is talking about flying. Except maybe when he's actually flying.

Two years ago, I discovered blogging. I've always kept a journal, working through my thoughts and experiences through writing, wading through words looking for understanding and expression. CG sometimes struggles with this blog. He, like some other friends and family, is more private than me and isn't always comfortable with me sharing personals stories about our family with the interwebs. He's come to accept it because he knows how important it has become to me and wouldn't keep me from something that I care about.

We've come a long way, baby.

Seven years ago today, we were this young, impossibly happy couple who couldn't seem to stop grinning as we pranced our way through our choreographed first dance.

Every time I hear this song on the radio, I remember this day, seven years ago, when we promised to stay together. To support one another. To grow together.

Happy Anniversary, CG.

Let's stay together.

(I couldn't figure out how to get the video onto my computer, so I used our camcorder while it was playing on the TV. That would explain the moment when Eliza fusses halfway through! Somehow, that feels appropriate.)


Mommy Daisy said...

Happy Anniversary! That was so sweet that dance. It brought tears to my eyes. My own wedding video doesn't even do that. ;)

Hillary said...

happy anniversary! You're lucky you both are so committed to growing with each other.

Kate said...

Happy anniversary!

grammalouie said...

Oh sweetie, I am so glad you included the video of that memorable dance which brought happy tears to my eyes when I first saw it and it still brings happy tears to my eyes.
Seven years - wow - it's hard to believe!
All my love and huge hugs and congratulation.

belinda said...

Wow, seven years?? I remember that dance- I remember you "pulling" him across the floor! I also remember being SO sweaty after the ceremony that I felt and looked like I had taken a shower in my dress and was like, OMYGODDONTTOUCHMEDONTTOUCHMEDONTTOUCHME in the receiving line immediately after :)

I remember how the happiness just radiated out of both of you that night, and I remember hugging CG goodbye when we had to (unfortunately) leave early, and softly saying in his ear, "You take care of her or I will kill you." I remember his surprised look and his laugh. And I remember watching both fade away as I stared at him with my "what, exactly, is so funny?" look.

Seven years later... You two are still together and CG is still living so I guess you guys must be doing something right.

Cheers to you both, with love.

Kathi McCracken Dente said...

Oh I love that dance! Still the best first dance EVER! I can't believe it has been seven years! Your wedding was the first trip Kevin and I took together. I completely freaked him out when I suggested we go. Glad he got over that! So happy you guys are so happy. Here's to many more!

desperate housewife said...

Oh, what a fun video! Your smiles are so radiant, I couldn't stop smiling myself while watching!
Happy anniversary.

Kathleen said...

Thanks so much for sharing the video! I will never forget my jaw dropping when I realized what you two were up to! What an amazing show - then and now. You two rock.

Whimsy said...

Lovely lovely lovely.

Happy belated anniversary.

The Non-Student said...

How'd you get through the PhD program? My partner is about to start one this fall.

Saskia said...

Yay! So great to see that dance again - all that hootin' & hollerin' was so genuine - we all had big sh**-eating grins on our faces for you while you were dancing and we still do. I remember CG counting under his breath to remember the steps, and us making you do it all over again the next morning cuz it was so fabulous. Congrats on 7 years!

Astarte said...

I love this post. It's true, you never understand that growing and changing doesn't mean that you'll grow in the same way until it actually happens,and then you have to figure out how to cope and keep love alive. It's hard work. Happy anniversary!

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