Me and My Stalkee.

Once upon a time, I was in serious need of some friends. I was a new mom in a new town and I was desperate for a like-minded person who I could relate to, who would tell me I wasn't crazy for waking Z just to make sure she wasn't, you know, dead and who would not gag or glaze over when I talked about baby poop, sore nipples or how my belly felt like a wrinkly kangaroo pounch, only without the cute little kangaroo to fill it out.

Strangely, even the most Chic Geek of all wasn't too interested in endless discussions of such topics.

So when Z was 6 weeks old, I dragged my very sore and very sorry butt out of the house for the first excursion since her birth and went to a "breastfeeding support group" at our hospital. There in a circle of chairs sat mothers in various states of post-partum recovery. I anxiously shhhed Z, asked stupid questions, and tried to nonchalantly size up the moms around me.

Pretty soon, my gaze narrowed to a woman who seemed friendly, funny and smart. Our girls were similarly large for their age, dark haired and good sleepers. We often dressed them alike. She too was from the East Coast. She lived relatively close by. She was non-judgmental and hipper than me and what more could I ask for?

Self, I thought to myself, there is the lady you need to be friends with.

So, of course, I set out to stalk her.

I tried to sit by her. I tried to think of things to say that weren't totally lame. I tried to leave at the same time she did so that we could talk on the walk to the parking garage. It all seems so hopelessly desperate to me now.

Somewhere along the line, it became clear that a group of women, my stalkee included, went out to lunch together after the support group. How had I missed out on this? And more importantly, how could I finagle my way in?

Luckily they quickly included me and over the first year of our babies' lives we all became friends, holding playgroups and a lively email discussion group full of support and encouragement and information. And my stalkee became a real friend.

So, of course, she and her husband decided this summer to move back to the East Coast. She left on Saturday.

I am so happy for her. She will be close to family and friends and her daughter will learn about leaves changing and snow and rainy spring days. But I miss them already.

I now have a great playgroup (If Z will ever be well enough again to attend!) and have made other mom friends who I can rely on for support and encouragement and companionship. But I still will miss my stalkee dearly.

So I'm prepared to stalk again, if need be. It sure worked out the first time around.