4/1/08

High maintenance woman.

My roommates in San Francisco used to razz me about my detailed makeup application. I guess it seemed incongruous to them that I wore old, boring, sometimes stained clothing, refused to use a blowdrier and yet insisted on "putting on my face", like some proper 90 year old lady, before leaving the house.

I wear makeup almost every day, use MANY products, including the obscure ones (eyelid primer anyone?) and yet I like to think that I look like I have very little makeup on (please don't tell me otherwise, dear friends).

Now that I no longer have roommates to poke at me, I don't think much about it, truly. I feel better with makeup on and it helps me feel good about myself, confident, ready to face the world. I think it's a holdover from my dancing days. Not only did I perform under layers of SERIOUS stage makeup but I found that wearing makeup to class and rehearsals helped me be more confident, something that I sorely needed.

But lately, Z's been watching me a little too intently when I put on my face in the morning. And she wants to apply eyelid primer, blush, eyeshadow, lip tint etc. etc. ETC.



And I don't know how I feel about this.

On one hand, what's the harm, right? It's just makeup. She can wear it herself someday if she wants to. It can be fun, a way to express yourself.

On the other hand, why do I need makeup to feel confident? Do I really want to give her the impression that I don't feel good enough without my mineral-containing, light-reflecting, leaping-tall-zits-in-a-single-bound face powder?

I worry she'll get the message that she's not good enough without it, too.

3 comments:

Erica said...

Maddie has those same jammies. Too cute!

Anyhow, I don't think it's a bad thing that's she's emulating you. It's not like she has the same feelings about make-up that you do. She just wants to be like mommy. You have plenty of time to help build her self-esteem so that she doesn't feel like make-up is necessary for her to be beautiful.

It sounds like you're coming to grips with the fact that you rely on make-up as sort of a security blanket. Maybe there's something there to explore. Or maybe you just really like make-up. : )

My Buddy Mimi said...

Just don't ever apologize for not "having your face on." When I lived in Dallas, I would hear people say that all the time. You are doing it for yourself, not for them.

MirasMom said...

A few months ago at the park I saw a girl about Mira's age take out her mom's make up bag and pretend put on lipstick. It seemed like a normal girl thing to do. However, I realized Mira would never learn that from me because I don't wear make-up (out of laziness more than anything). I then started worrying I wasn't setting the right example. So my experience has been the exact opposite from yours and I am still worried about the example I am setting. Maybe we all just need to give ourselves a break. :)

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