Some of you will remember that it was about this time last year that I shot a pregnancy workout video with my (now former) boss.
I just got my copy in the mail.
It's a little odd, to say the least, to watch a video of myself, very pregnant, mouth-breathing my way through a workout. And you can go out and buy a copy. (Not that you should! Not that I get any money from it! But it IS a pretty good workout. If I'm correctly remembering the never-ending dinner I ate the night after filming it, I'm pretty sure I burned 4,000 calories during the filming.)
At first blush, I am a little embarrassed by all the awkward moments captured forever on film. There are so many! It's hard to pick one to demonstrate! There's the moment when they do a slow zoom in on my flat, flat a$$. And the several moments when I seem to have forgotten why I'm there and am staring into space. And the many, many times where I am grimacing instead of smiling.
And, of course, there is the fact that they later shot more publicity stills for the cover with a beautiful, photogenic model, one who isn't in the video. I'm sure the publicity stills we shot were too .... blurry, right?
But mostly I am moved by seeing it. It IS the testimonial I was hoping for. Here is E, bouncing around in my taut watermelon belly. Here is me, moving my body, working on being a healthy and strong mama. Here we are, cupped together, but not for long.
Sometimes I lie in bed and feel the striated skin on my belly and marvel at the myriad ways I have been stretched by motherhood. After years of covering my face and groaning while watching dance videos of myself, I watched this video with open eyes and an open heart.