Before Leaving California #7: One last trip to the Pacific Ocean

It is our last weekend here in California. So, of course, we had to go to the beach and say goodbye.

Because apparently it's been too long since I last forcibly cleaned sand from a certain toddler's ears. (New thought! If she doesn't care, don't bother! It'll come out on its own eventually. Brought to you by Two Children/Lower Standards.)

I like to rock the ring sling even without the baby in it. That's how I roll. Also? I like to face AWAY from the glorious ocean, read the paper and forget to bring any proper shade providing devices for my poor defenseless infant. Clearly I am not meant to be a beach person.

Fortunately, I think at least one of my daughters was meant to be a beach person.

Before Leaving California #6: Get our a$$es to the Getty Center

It was a gorgeous day. Zoe was going to school after a day spent slowly killing my will to live. CG met me, Eliza and my in-laws at the Getty, a place that we've been trying to get to for years.

FINALLY, we made the time to bask in its glorious architecture.

Eliza really enjoyed the tour explaining the intricacies of the design. (Okay, fine, she slept through the whole thing.)

The bougainvilleas grow up through rebar trees. Gorgeous.

Eliza tried out our new sling. Mama's jury is still out on the whole "ring sling" design.

We thought about reclining nude with that gorgeous statue but the security guards prevented us. Douches.

We felt pretty darn guilty about not taking Zoe, who would have LOVED the steps, fountains, zig zag paths and tram to the parking garage. So once we picked her up, we went to the farmer's market and let her have a whole sno-cone before dinner. Because a huge dose of sugar seemed like JUST the thing to improve her behavior of late.

Pretty much a win, win, WIN for everyone!

In summary, get thee to the Getty!

Before Leaving California #5: Get a decent pic with the Hollywood sign

DONE.

Griffith Park Observatory, April 26th, 2009
(What's that strange horizontal ridgeline around my belly, you ask? Maternity pants pulled up halfway to my eyeballs.)

Before Leaving California #4: Disneyland (or: what I will do for my darling daughter)

I am, by nature, not a theme park person. Most rides give me a headache, or make me queasy, or both. I don't understand waiting in line for an hour to have some pre-programmed manufactured "fun". I don't like waiting in line, PERIOD. I don't like noise. I don't like crowds, especially the kind of crowds where people meander aimlessly in front of you, somehow magically going JUST too slow before suddenly turning at just the right moment to bump into your very pregnant belly or step on your feet, OR BOTH.

All in all, I'd much rather be hiking, reading or doing pretty much ANYTHING else.

And, though I'm sure this makes me somehow un-American (and definitely makes me a GRUMP), I'm not a fan of Disney. Mickey? EH. Princesses? BLECH. Buzz Lightyear (who GROWN ADULTS WITHOUT CHILDREN IN TOW were following around, squealing over and taking pictures of when we were there)? WHO CARES.

But.

BUT.

Disneyland with an almost three year old (well, OUR almost three year old, maybe yours would hate it)? A TOTAL BLAST.

Waiting in line in front of Its a Small World.

Zoe, totally digging Small World. Though we were a bit confused at first because she kept whining about wanting to "get out of the boat" which we thought meant she was scared and wanted the ride to be over. We finally figured out that she wanted to get out and STAY and PLAY with all the animatronic, culturally- uh- specific bobbleheads.

On board the Casey Jr. Circus Train which Zoe LOVED. She chose to ride in one of the "animal cages" where we were joined by two middle-aged adults SANS KIDS. WTF? What adult in their right mind would wait for over half an hour to ride for FIVE MINUTES in a tiny kiddie train that goes pretty much NOWHERE unless you had a toddler with you who was bouncing up and down and squealing "YAY!", "ALL ABOARD!" and "I'm a tiger! GRRRRR!!!"???

CG and Zoe on the teacups, which Zoe loved. I'm sure glad he was up for going on pretty much every ride with her because I was happy to sit down, put up my feet and slurp down my "100% frozen apple" (frozen apple juice! At Disneyland! I was impressed by some of their healthy food options, including a frozen chocolate covered banana after lunch. Real FRUIT!)


All in all it was a total success. Zoe had such a great time and was so sad to leave.

I did not give birth on Its a Small World.

And the princessses? NEVER SAW ONE OR HEARD A PEEP ABOUT ONE.

SUCCESS!

Before Leaving California #3: day trip to Death Valley (or similar)

Who knows when I'll next be up for a flight in a small plane? So we thought we better explore SoCal a bit as a last hurrah. As it was, my belly made entering the pod* a little difficult. (*: not the technical name for it.)

About to board the plane.

Zoe wasn't so sure about her fancy headsets.
And then REALLY not so sure about them.
But looky! We made it to Death Valley (it was way prettier in person, like most things.)

And then I heard the words all pregnant ladies love: BRUNCH BUFFET.

Zoe was surprisingly well behaved, though she kept exclaiming "TWO FORKS?!?!?!", thereby ruining any impressions of us as people who ever take her to fine dining establishments.
We hung out in the "date palm oasis".

And then we got back on the plane.
This time we tried lawn mower-type headsets.

When they failed to be satisfactory, we resorted to the usual: lollipops and stickers, stickers everywhere.
The view of the beautiful mountains. I suppose all that white stuff is, like, DANDRUFF?? 'Cause it's so hot and dry here??

Lesson of the day: my man is a STUD.
And our friend G, the other passenger, is a saint, holding Zoe's sticky hands and not once saying "please don't put any more stickers on my hairy arms".
As Zoe exclaimed after our last landing: "we had a LOVELY trip!".

#2 on the "Before Leaving California" checklist

(Who knew I'd be so on top of this checklist anyway? And if you try to intimate I might be cheating by not sharing the checklist ahead of time, which clearly means there is no actual checklist, you're almost right. There is a checklist. In my head.)

#2: Have total, real, random celebrity sighting.

We've been in Southern California for over three years now. I've stood in line three people behind Tori Spelling at a coffee shop. I've been out to breakfast and spied the dim-witted brother on My Name Is Earl chowing down on some eggs with, what I have to guess was, his family. I've been out to dinner and been told that David Hasselhoff was JUST there, and OH he really enjoyed the pork chop.

But today totally takes the cake and I can now officially cross this one off the list. This morning, at the old timey carousel in Griffith Park, we walked by none other than K-Fed and his boys (and a couple of nannies, of course). Now if that isn't L.A. I don't know what is!

#1 on the "Before Leaving California" checklist

#1. Take Zoe to watch the Rose Parade, in person, on the grandstands.


(Stomping to the marching bands with your ladybug purse: TOTALLY NECESSARY.)