Dear Lima Bean,
Your continued happiness to stay put in my belly for .... EVER? has given me plenty of time to reread some of the books that I read when I was pregnant with your big sister. Our doula specifically recommended that I reread some of the gloriously natural birth stories in Ina May Gaskin's "Guide to Childbirth" to prepare my mind for the normality of our - ANY DAY NOW- attempt at natural childbirth.
There's nothing like reading about hippy, 48 hour, orgasmic birth to make you feel like maybe you're just not cut out for such a thing and a Pitocin drip/epidural cocktail ain't such a bad thing.
Or maybe that's just me.
The hypnobirthing book has also been a bit dogeared this last week. And the author insists that you have to be truly, deeply READY or your baby will feel that you aren't really ready and stay put. You need to remove ALL fear. ALL trepidation. ALL ambivalence.
I'm not sure if it gets any more ready than this for us, dear Lima Bean. There IS still some fear. There is still some trepidation, some ambivalence. I can't hide that, or wish it away. I want so much for you to be a healthy and happy addition to our family. Is that enough of an invitation?
That is my greeting to you. Please be healthy and happy and come when you are ready.
Because this little Clueless But Hopeful family is nervous, excited, curious, tired, open.
your Clueless But Hopeful Mama.