5/5/09

This is what readiness looks like

Dear Lima Bean,

Your continued happiness to stay put in my belly for .... EVER? has given me plenty of time to reread some of the books that I read when I was pregnant with your big sister. Our doula specifically recommended that I reread some of the gloriously natural birth stories in Ina May Gaskin's "Guide to Childbirth" to prepare my mind for the normality of our - ANY DAY NOW- attempt at natural childbirth.

There's nothing like reading about hippy, 48 hour, orgasmic birth to make you feel like maybe you're just not cut out for such a thing and a Pitocin drip/epidural cocktail ain't such a bad thing.

Or maybe that's just me.

The hypnobirthing book has also been a bit dogeared this last week. And the author insists that you have to be truly, deeply READY or your baby will feel that you aren't really ready and stay put. You need to remove ALL fear. ALL trepidation. ALL ambivalence.

I'm not sure if it gets any more ready than this for us, dear Lima Bean. There IS still some fear. There is still some trepidation, some ambivalence. I can't hide that, or wish it away. I want so much for you to be a healthy and happy addition to our family. Is that enough of an invitation?

That is my greeting to you. Please be healthy and happy and come when you are ready.

Because this little Clueless But Hopeful family is nervous, excited, curious, tired, open.

Waiting.

Wondering.

Hoping.

Love,

your Clueless But Hopeful Mama.

8 comments:

parkingathome said...

You can DO IT !! Remember that your body knows how to give birth and will go ahead and just do it, it's your brain that's going to try to hold you back

Hillary said...

That picture is precious.

grammalouie said...

Ack! Once again a tear rolls down my cheek.
My bag is packed but I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes for this wee bambino to come into this world.
It will happen soon.
With lots of love

Mrs. Chicken said...

Sending good birthin' vibes your way. Mine were both surgical, but with the last one, it was torture all the way to the end ... contractions, head in my lady bits. Couldn't wait to get him out.

Hoping little Lima comes soon.

Eleanor Q. said...

I remember the ready/not ready/anxious/must happen now but wait, not just yet moments at the very end. We are waiting to hear the good news over here. And of course curious to see what name you chose. Good luck, you can do it!

Michelle said...

Thinking pleasant birthing thoughts for you!

Kira said...

hang in there. she'll be here before you turn around!
(this is what my mom would tell me when i was anxiously awaiting my aunt's visits) sending lots of love your way! xoxoxoxo P.s. i think that is a beautiful invitation you are sending Lima Bean!

Erin said...

The words of this letter make me SURE it will be SOON!

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