Separate beds.

When I first started dating CG, we spent a weekend at his grandparents' house outside of San Diego. When we toured the house, I was shocked to see that they had had separate beds. How sad! How unromantic!

And now, how quickly I've come to see the benefits!

It became apparent early on that CG and I were not well suited in the sleep department. I want to sleep in PITCH BLACK. CG wants the curtains flung open so that the first light of day dances on his eyelids. I want to sleep on a squishy mattress, CG likes his firm. I like the window open for fresh cool air on my face while I curl up under a slew of comforters. CG likes the windows closed and an electric blanket on top of him, spewing its electromagnetic radiation over hapless co-sleepers. I like a white noise machine; he prefers silence. I want to go to bed early and wake up on my own; he has always stayed up late and used an alarm clock, HITTING THE SNOOZE BUTTON EVERY TEN MINUTES. (Though this is no longer an issue now that we have Z, aka. the human alarm clock, this was our biggest issue for about a year.) We're both convinced the other is a major Cover Stealer worthy of investigation or, at least, piercing glances over breakfast.

We managed to resolve most of our issues in the first year of living together. But now that we have spent the last week in separate beds, due to the Cough That Would Not Die, it's starting to make sense why couples would find themselves in separate beds long term. It may not mean that they don't love each other any more. In fact, maybe it keeps some marriages together, stronger, for longer.

Don't worry. My cough is abating and I'm sure we'll be wrestling over the covers again in no time. But it sure is nice to have a guest bed that is ready and waiting should the need for solitary slumber arise.


Anonymous said...

My parents are exactly the same way, and they MUST have separate covers even if they share a bed. I used to think that it was strange, but it works for them and they are still together--40 years this summer.

Anonymous said...

I discovered about a year into my marriage that nights were alot better if we used seperate covers. We are still in the same bed, but his snoring makes me long for a guest room!

desperate housewife said...

Wow, I could have written this post myself! Jim and I are exactly like this. To solve the problem, I almost always go to bed first and he sneaks in once I'm asleep.
Oh, btw, I tagged you for a meme.

Anonymous said...

Long ago we discovered that separate toothpaste tubes were an ingredient to a happy marriage. We haven't moved on to beds yet, but my grandparents solved it with two twin beds pushed together with separate covers and one common over-comforter. They were married over 50 years.

Marie Green said...

I prefer to sleep WITH my husband. I grew up having my little sister sneak into my bed every day, so perhaps I'm just a cosleeper by nature. BUT, I HEAR YOU about the hitting snooze. My husband does it too, sometimes for an HOUR. Why not sleep the extra hour and then get up the first time the alarm goes off? I simply don't get it!

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