Save the drama for your.... ah crap.

I guess I've known it was coming for a long while now. But with Z's mostly mellow infancy and slow descent into toddlerdom, we somehow thought we might just make it through this whole parenting thing without the extreme toddler tantrums that cause the uninitiated to wonder if perhaps the parents could possibly be doing something, ANYTHING, different?

(Not that I've ever thought such things....)

Lately, Z is allllll intensity. Everything is peachy keen, we're having FUN, squealing and laughing and spinning and then suddenly it's SO NOT ALRIGHT AND NEVER WILL BE AGAIN, WWAHHHHHHHH. The emotional whiplash is wearing me down and more than ever I am grateful to have a few days a week where I get to send her to School and take a break from the exhaustion of parenting her right now.

(guilt, Guilt, GUILT.)

I've read all the books and totally understand that this is essential developmental stuff going on here. She is individuating and testing boundaries, and she loves me so much and feels so safe with me that I am her preferred testing relationship.

Gee, thanks.

On good days, I can totally be in the moment with her and remain unscathed. I can love seeing her tear down a hill, even if it is a defiant sprint away from me. I can join in her delight in her new found sense of power when she fights diaper changes/car seat entrances/transitions in general. I can steel myself to her shrieks and bolster my resolve to be Clear and Consistent. I give simple Choices and Consequences and let all the drama roll off my back.

Other days, I want her to be happy and smiling all the time and I just don't understand WHY that's not possible. I want quiet, efficient, reasonable transitions. Surely, if I were more resourceful, more imaginative, more MORE I could prevent multiple meltdowns in a day, right? Surely, I'm just failing and flailing.

Some days, I want to buy earplugs. And wear them.

I keep telling myself that this phase will be over soon. Soon she'll be two and then things will .... be more of the same and yet different.

Someone told me that three is worse. Lord, help me.


Anonymous said...

The other day I was wondering if it was possible for Mimi to scream so loudly that she actually threw up. She was coughing and looked just about ready to hurl by the time she managed to calm down.

Marie Green said...

Well you might as well prepare yourself, b/c 3 is worse. Or at least it was for us!

Welcome friend. That's about all I can say...

miyoko said...

all i can say is i have upped my previous "i don't drink coffee ever" to 2-3 cups a day.
P and I are right there with ya' honey.
Socks, shoes, forks, cups, hairclips, shirts, stroller, carseat, life, oh the emotional turmoils of daily life.

desperate housewife said...

Clear and Consistent. Choices and Consequences. Easier said than done, huh? It's hard to give choices and consequences to someone who still doesn't fully understand your language and who has already sprung a gasket.

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