8/9/08

Et tu, Mr. Edwards?

Dear John Edwards,

If Bill Clinton broke my heart (First knife? "don't ask, don't tell". Second knife? Gennifer Flowers. Third machete blow to the temple? Monica Lewinsky.), you just plain piss me off. How dare you? How dare you have an affair when your wife is sick with cancer (or maybe was in remission at the time but STILL. WTF?)?

Then, after the affair, you decide to run for president again. HOW EFFING DARE YOU? What if you had gotten the nomination and then this all came out? Would you really have allowed us all to believe in you, knowing full well that WHEN (not if, come on, don't be naive) news of the affair came out, the chances for Democrats winning this election, this most important of elections, would be sunk?

I almost believed in you, even considered voting for you in the primary. Your dorky cheap wristwatch, your focus on the poor, your lauding of your wife and seemingly strong commitment to your family (*cough* *gag* *retch*) all seemed to send the right message about what Democrats were about. This? This just makes us look like a bunch of guys who can't keep their dicks in their pants.

(Memo to Barack Obama: Whatever you need to do to keep yourself from following in these footsteps, if you need a monogamy buddy who will shadow you like a daycare worker by a biting toddler, if you need a chastity belt that only Michelle has the key to, if you need to encase that snake in a jagged cage, DO IT.)

You wrote in your official statement that through campaigning you came to believe you were "special" and this made you "egocentric and narcissistic". I don't think this is surprising to anyone. I mean, you actually wanted to be the leader of the free world. I think this automatically means you were at least a TAD bit full of yourself.

But you clearly were out of control. I'm not naive about how hard marriage and monogamy are. Or how tantalizing and heady attention from someone else can be. But I'm also clear on what it means to be a public figure, especially one who's vying to be THE public figure, THE public representation of all that America stands for. When you put yourself at such high levels of politics and public service you must wrestle with any and all demons to make sure your personal life does not interfere with your political responsibilities. Your campaign wasn't ever supposed to be about you. The best campaigns are about what you would DO. Who you would help.

I guess this proves it was always about you. You and your dick.

Signed,

one Clueless But Hopeful (and pissed off but still Democratic) Mama

3 comments:

grammalouie said...

We love this post! Read it aloud to all our friends. Maureen Doud also had a column in Sunday's NYTImes, but we like yours better. At least on a blog you don't have to censor your language. Besides, we all think you are a better writer than Maureen. No lie!

Astarte said...

I am SO with you on this!!!! I am PISSED OFF. WTF?! Did he really think he was going to be able to be president after that?! And no one would notice?!?! I actually DID vote for him, and I'm so grossed out. What an incredible a-hole.

Astarte said...

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