6/23/08

Having another: Pros vs. Cons.

Pro: Getting to experience pregnancy again: those first fluttering kicks from inside that fill me with wonder, the second trimester round, taut belly that feels ripe and full and lovely, the smiles from strangers blessing me and my unborn child.
Con: Possible barfy morning sickness, heartburn, exhaustion, huge third trimester belly when nothing fits and every position is uncomfortable, HAVING TO PUSH A LARGE BABY HEAD THROUGH A VERY SMALL HOLE AGAIN.

Pro: Zoe would love a sibling with whom to play, share secrets, and make fun of her parents. I would love to see her hug, kiss and hold hands with a sibling.
Con: Zoe would not enjoy having a sibling who will steal/break her toys and bite/kick/fight with her. I have no desire to referee inane, high decibel sibling rivalry.

Pro: Siblings prevent the golden princess problem when too much attention is paid to the first/only child.
Con: Siblings halve the amount of attention you have to give to the first/only child which can only be a brutal shift for that first child.

Pro: Some only children I know are self-centered, can't-share-worth-a-damn A-holes who really could have used a sibling pounding once or twice in their life time to take them down a notch. Obviously having a sibling would have helped them be better people.
Con: Some only children I know are bright, well-socialized, happy people. They obviously were not harmed, and maybe even helped, by being an only child.

Pro: Zoe is a lovely child who loves playing with her babies. She clearly will mother a small sibling and shower him/her with love and attention.
Con: Zoe has her moments of selfishness and aggression. She doesn't share her things or her mother well with other kids and though very attached to her babies, she often throws them face down in the bathtub, yelling "SWIM BABY".

Pro: The best way to change this crazy world is to raise another kid to be respectful, conscientious, and politically aware.
Con: There are too many people already on this planet and I really don't need to be adding to overpopulation. Plus, s/he could turn out to be a Dr. Laura/Rush Limbaugh-loving, conservative Republican and then my whole plan is for NAUGHT.

Pro: I'm curious. I want to see how else our genes could combine. It's hard for me to imagine that we could have a child that doesn't look exactly like Zoe. I kinda want to see what else, WHO ELSE, we would make!
Con: Well, if that isn't the craziest reason to have another kid, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

4 comments:

My Buddy Mimi said...

I had a list of pros and cons, of course, and I included that last one too. If I had it to do all over again, I would not be expecting a baby in the middle of summer though. This heat wave is killing me!

desperate housewife said...

Having just watched the Sex and The City movie (again!) I loved the bit of advise that Carrie gives Miranda, who is going over a list of pros and cons for a very important decision. She says, "Hey, you're a lawyer. You will always be able to argue both sides of a case to yourself. But there are some decisions you just have to FEEL. Logic will only take you so far." Or something to that effect. I think in the end that's what the decision to have or not have more kids (or any kids at all) comes down to. Logic can factor in, but ultimately it's a Feeler.

Stephanie said...

I think it is amazing to see how genes combine to form children. My 2 girls are so very different and amazing in their own way. The only reason I have for #3 is to see what else we can produce! (not that I am proud or anything :) )

As an only child and mother of 2 I say "Go for it!" Sabrina told me the other day that Lauren is her best friend. The first year basically sucks but it gets better after that :)

clueless but hopeful mama said...

MBM- I so hear you on the heat wave thing! We keep joking about trying to schedule the next baby to avoid heatwaves in the third trimester!

DH- Great reference! Having just seen the movie, and having a bit of Miranda in me, I totally hear you! And for us, having two kids just FEELS right.

Stephanie- The best friend comment KILLS. ME.

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